A late important invite!
Please come and meet Andrea our beloved administrator at the InHome conference this weekend March 6-7. She’s doing two sessions, a blogging how-to and a blogging panel. Happy Childhood Nancy, Green Parent Christine, myself and others will be taking part in the blogging panel.
come join us! and then let’s all have some drinks later!
see you there-
Dear Blog
I’m sure you’ve noticed by now, Blog, that something is going on. It’s just not the same anymore is it blog, ever since I’ve made my new friend Facebook. I’m sorry blog. I used to turn to you when I needed a place to write big long things about lord knows what, and now what have I been doing? Checking on my “friends”. Having the past come up and sucker punch me. Goofing around with “applications”. I’m sorry blog, and to make it up to you, I am going to share something with you, in hopes that the three of us can all get along better.
16 Records, Only I Put 17
In no order what so ever. These records were influential to me. Some are still faves, others have fallen by the wayside. go ahead and post your own if you happen to have 5 hours laying around that need killing.
1. The Kinks Give the People What they Want
2. The Kinks, Muswell Hillbillies
I love the kinks. Give the People What they Want is a record that my brother had. I used to go into his room in high school, theoretically to do homework, but we would just hang out and listen to records and talk. This was the first Kinks record I ever listened to. Later on I found Muswell Hillbillies. This was my favorite record for a long time, and one time I told that to some boy and he all of a sudden thought I was really cool. Which, I took note of.
3. Zeppelin II
My cousin Quint laid this on me. I am forever grateful.
4. Pete Townshend White City
Some of my biggest music influences were from this group of guys I hung out with in college. They were the first people I knew who really lived with music, and talked music, and collected music. Things they played for me led me to other things… This record was one that I loved then, and not sure that I still would, but it makes me think of that time and those guys
5. Willie Nelson, Red Headed Stranger
my parents were, and are, huge Willie Nelson fans. I grew up thinking that my parents were friends with the outlaws, and also thinking that my dad had been in jail with Johnny Cash. Or Elvis. But, we listened to a lot of country music, and this was always one of my very favorite Willie Nelson records, and is the first time I ever really thought of an album as something that could tell a story.
6. AC/DC Back in Black
living outside of detroit in junior high I was introduced to a lot of “hard rock” as it was called back then. Having my mind blown by high voltage rock and roll was a good, good feeling, and probably a doorway into other good good feelings that I would come to enjoy later in my life. This was the best, and still is a great record. My kids love this record. We would put my brothers speakers in the window of his bedroom and spend the day goofing around in the pool with our friends, listening to this at top volume while our parents were at work. AC/DC, swimming pools, cute suburban boys, endless games of rummy played on casino reject cards… life was grand.
7. Chet Baker, The Best of Chet Baker Sings
this was frequently playing I worked in the gallery with John, before we started dating. I’m pretty sure I think Chet Baker looked like John at 24. No wonder I fell in love.
8. The Bay City Rollers
8 years old- third grade, my best friend Cackie and I would pop this onto her portable record player and dance like only 8 year old girls can dance. This started a life time obsession with cute boys in bands.
9. The Beach Boys, Endless Summer
The first record I ever bought, age 9 I remember thinking it over long and hard, and picked this one because it was a double record, with twice as many songs. Plus it had a cool cover, and it turned out to be a winner. every song is great. see if you can’t sing them all.
1. Surfin’ Safari
2. Surfer Girl
3. Catch A Wave
4. The Warmth Of The Sun
5. Surfin’ U.S.A.
6. Be True To Your School
7. Little Deuce Coup
8. In My Room
9. Shut Down
10. Fun, Fun, Fun
11. I Get Around
12. The Girls On The Beach
13. Wendy
14. Let Him Run Wild
15. Don’t Worry Baby
16. California Girls
17. Girl Don’t Tell Me
18. Help Me, Rhonda
19. You’re So Good To Me
20. All Summer Long
21. Good Vibrations
10. Bob Dylan, Blonde on Blonde
The gateway to Bob for me. I had heard Bob before this, but this was the first time I ever listened and had my heart break. I think I was 21. It’s been a long, great relationship ever since
11. Shellac, At Action Park
This one is not so much for the music, though I like it. When I was pregnant with Louise John was printing this. Around the clock, with people printing in shifts, for months. I took a pass on printing when I realized that we would probably end up divorced while attempting to print our wedding invitations together. So I think I printed part of a pass of some of these, but mostly I was just pregnant. Later, after this project ended and the baby project was well under way, I saw Shellac play with the Nerves at that bowling alley on New Years Day at 9am… Diane and I made stuff to have a bake sale at the show, and maybe it was because I was out and about with my baby at home for a change, but that was one of the best ways to start a new year that I can remember. We didn’t sell much baked goods because the youngsters were too cheap to buy from us, but I remember my cream cheese brownies getting a shout out from the stage, and Barry serving up espresso, and everyone jumping.
13. X , brave new world
no explanation needed other than that this one took me down a whole new path, led by Allison
14. Fiona Apple, When The Pawn….
I still very much love to get new music, even though what I get is often a few years old. I was given Extraordinary Machine by my friend Diane, not knowing anything really about Fiona Apple. I loved that record so much that it led me to this one, and it is just a record that I love a lot. FA speaks the truth.
15. Gram Parsons, Grievous Angel
This is another one that marks a time in my life. Days after my first baby was born I got a wicked case of mastitis. My friend Carol came over to take care of me and the baby while John was at work, and in my fever sleep I remember Carol listening to this over and over. The song Take Me Down To Your Dancefloor, is a song that my pals in Stumpwhoopt played, so that’s another reason why it’s important to me.
16.Uncle Tupelo, No Depression
Uncle Tupelo was one of the first bands that I saw every chance I could. They played a lot in Normal in the early days, so I can remember seeing them in a half empty gallery, and at some wierd ballroom, and probably in a basement somewhere, and then at a half empty Lounge Ax, and then a tightly packed Lounge Ax. I think Allison and I pretty much wore this cassette out, along with our Bad Livers tape.
17. The Clash, London Calling
I lived in this stupid small town in high school, with very limited access to the outside world of music and art and culture. I dated this boy for a little while who tired to clue me into me into this, though at the time I wasn’t really interested. He was a huge Clash fan and he and his dad would fly their own little plane around the country to go see the Clash. He tried to get me into it, but I was stubbornly into my own thing. A few years later I really listened to it and realized what I had missed out on. Mike Bohlander, wherever you are, I did finally get it.
In Which Chicagolo goes Thrifting, and Learns a Valuable Lesson
We’ve been playing games. For Christmas I received a game called The Settlers of Cataan, which Winston and I have spent a few afternoons immersed in playing. He’s a good player with a more natural sense for role playing games than I. I have been feeling like adding a little more structure to our days, with a little more attention on the basics, and one way that I can do that and still maintain our freewheeling unschooling lifestyle is by playing board games. The Settlers of Cataan introduces a lot of simple and more complex math problems- counting and matching, of course- for Benji, estimation and ratios for the older kids, plus patterning, growth, basic economics concepts, and decision making.
The Settlers of Cataan is a game that we can all play, though Ben needs a team mate, and a short game. I took an inventory of our board game collection, and have been feeling like we are lacking in good games that can be played with a five year old. The old stand-by’s: Chutes and Ladders, Candy Land, Monza, are just too boring to hold anyone’s attention, and I still get pissed if I get sent back to the candy canes in Candy Land. Who needs that?
So, here is a round about tale of how I found the most awesome game ever.
One of Ben’s “issues” of late is being completely unable to get dressed. Every article of clothing is a battle. All waistbands are unnacceptable, all socks are too small, too tight, too prickly. This shirt chokes! I can’t wear these gloves because my wrists are itchy! On and on it goes, I dread- DREAD- having to leave the house. This I do not care for. I’m not interested in being held hostage by my 5 year old’s wackiness. Not getting dressed, not leaving the house- not happening. I’m not that kind of girl.
As some of you may have noticed, we’ve gotten a fair amount of snow lately, which means that in addition to the regular set of clothes we also have the added fun of the snowpants. The snowpants have buckles. Yes. Buckles. But, we aren’t going outside without snowpants because the first thing that Ben does when he steps outside is throws himself immediately into the nearest pile of snow. Going snowpantsless is not an option. Choosing not to fling yourself into a snowdrift is an option, but not a viable one apparently, so snowpants- buckles and all- are going on.
I decided that since the issue with the snowpants was mainly the shoulder straps and buckles, I could easily replace the straps with some polar fleece straps that would not chafe my delicate little sons sensitive neck skin, and in that way he could put his snowpants on with a minimum of spazzing out, and thus, survive another day. So on Monday I was talking on the phone and went into the front “hall” (not so much a hall as a closet) and picked up some black snow pants. “These are Winston’s black snowpants. I do not want to cut the straps off of these, I want to cut the straps off of Benji’s black snowpants,” I said to myself. I then proceeded to walk into the kitchen, get my scissors and cut the straps off of Winstons snowpants.
“Fucking Hell”, was what I said next, “I’m going to the thrift store and see if I can find some one piece snow suits. I always see them there.” So off I went.
It was half price Monday, always a good/bad time to go to the thrift store. I get easily lost in the thrift store- as my daughter will attest- before I know it I’ve whiled away 90 minutes looking at pillow cases and champagne glasses. So I went in with two things on my agenda: snowsuits and board games. I figured as long as I was there I could see if I could find some good game that Ben could play that wouldn’t make us all want to beat each other over the head with the game board. I looked neither right nor left. I did not look at bags, or books, or boots, or blankets. Snowsuits were a bust. Nothing. But Board games on the other hand proved to be a gold mine.
First I found a game called The Ungame, circa 1975, which is basically the grooviest, sharingest game around. You move your piece around a board that has no beginning or end and land on squares called “Tell it like it is!” and “Do your own thing!” moving in and out of areas like “Worry Wharf”, “Happy House”, “Irritation Island”, “Compliment Campground” “Favor Factory”, and answer a bunch of questions like “what is love?” and “what will your life look like at age 70?”. Perfect.
And then I found Smess. Smess is basically Chess with three different types of pieces- Ninny’s, Numskulls, and the Brain. The object is to protect your brain, and capture the opposite teams Brain. Ninny’s move one square at a time, but only in the direction of one of the arrows on the square. Numskulls can move any amount of squares as long as it’s in a straight line.
It’s brilliant, and exactly the kind of game that I was hoping for, but hadn’t been able to put into words. The kind of game that seems like you are actually figuring something out and not just killing time in the most tedious way possible. I bought them both, my total for the day: $3.77. Smess is going for $88 on Ebay, as it turns out.
I brought both games home, and we all played The Ungame, which was hilarious and a lesson in sincerity at times for my sarcastic bunch, and then Ben and I played Smess, and then best of all, Ben and Win played Smess- my dream come true. They played happily until Ben decided that he was an EARTHQUAKE and then board game time was over for the day. Board games and Earthquakes are diametrically opposed.
After the Earthquake had gone off to wreak havoc in other areas of the house, I sat down at my sewing machine with Winston and sewed the straps back onto his snowpants, made polar fleece straps for Benji’s snowpants, and then taught Winston how to use the sewing machine. He made himself a very snazzy polar fleece scarf, which he wore around for the rest of the day, bringing to mind Winston at age five, wearing his fabulous David Bowie-esque purple tie-dyed leotard every single day. I am forbidden to post a photo of this stage of his life, but thinking about it makes me realize that most five year olds are complete nut-jobs, and that this bizarre clothing phase too shall pass.
How it’s Done
Today is my birthday, and this is what I got from Jupchurch. Every year he buys out Lush. So, gents out there- if you are wondering what to get your lady for her birthday, the above photo will help you out.
Christmas List
I can’t give everyone actual presents, so I’m giving you all the gift of time wasting. Here are some of my favorite online treats- Merry Christmas Blogpals!
- I’ve recently decided that I like to drink good cheap wine. My dearly departed father in law would be proud of me. This blog has been fun to read lately, and given me some buying tips.
- I do so enjoy witty writing, a bit of celebrity gossip and fashionable shoes. You can find all of this at Manolo the Shoeblogger
- This blogger is from Chicago, and loves dresses and sewing. So we have two things in common. hint: not sewing.
- Feeling like you need a little directional input from the astral plane? Go get yourself a free tarot card reading
- and lastly, a dose of cute perks me up daily.
Only Child
This afternoon I found myself with only one child- the middle one, probably the one that I spend the least amount of alone time with. He’s 9, and doing well. Lot’s of friends, lots of interests, a few healthy obsessions. He can be intensely sweet and amazingly aggravating, but mostly he gets the short end of the stick because he’s not about to turn 13 and he’s not insanely 5. Today the other two got siphoned off to another family and I got to enjoy a few hours with just my very happy and capable 9 year old boy.
Our house just came through stage one of operation beautiful kitchen- you can see pictures of the place mid- construction at Thanksgiving. We are a few days past being done with this project (except for some minor details like repainting and patching the floor) the dust has cleared, the displaced stuff has resettled.
On Saturday, day 1 post construction, I thought I’d be able to whip the place into shape over the course of the day, but that wasn’t the case. What I discovered on Saturday was that before the whipping part could be accomplished, I’d first have to wade through 80 piles of miscellaneous, random bits and pieces. I lost my resolve when I got to the bookshelf I wanted to move. On the top shelf I found such a bizarre, disconnected collection that I could do nothing but get lost in the dregs. X-rays of someones injury, the last babies baby book with not one word written in it (which sent me down the “oh what a shitty mother I am” trail for a few moments before I was able to talk some sense to myself) letters from my grandma that always make me teary. 50 pages of whatever about my father in laws investments, the cover of a children’s book called “Let’s Get Puppies”, and on and on in this vein. Decisions. It’s all about decisions, and the only decision I was wanting to make was what type of greenery I wanted to drape around my lovely new opening. White Pine.
So Saturday was really frustrating because I just couldn’t make headway. I had a vision of what I wanted the space to look like, but I just couldn’t make it happen because, for starters, my stupid vaccuum cleaner was not only broken- again- but it also needed a new bag, which can only be bought at the special special shop for fancy special vaccuum cleaners. And every single thing was covered with drywall dust, so not having a vaccuum was distressing. That night I went to the first Christmas Party of the season, and I was so deep into my stupid wierd mood that reader, I didn’t even feel like drinking too much red wine.
On Sunday I decided to bag the whole plan and go out shopping for the day, knowing that if I stayed here I would just get irritated by how much sitting around in pajamas would be happening, and how very little nose to the grindstone attitude the other members of my household would be exhibiting. Which is completely within their rights, but still, best to just clear out and shop with my friend Kim. A hilariously good time was had.
And now it is today, and I had only one child. He and I went to the fancy special shop and got the vacuum bags, came home and fixed the vacuum with duct tape. Then when we were making cocoa and tidying up the kitchen the faucet came unattached- a bothersome habit of my faucet- and gave me a soaking. So, the boy and I got to work and fixed it. With duct tape. We made up a thing about duct tape that goes like this:
Global Warming? Duct Tape!
Poverty? Duct Tape!
Crime? Duct Tape!
Endangered Species? Duct Tape!
etc… you can make up your own verses if you like. Then he taught me to play GO, which he is really really good at, and we made some plans for a sledding party, and for his GO club. He thought of some things for his Christmas list. We found the book of runes he started writing a while ago, and he spent some time trying to figure out how to read his language. We played some math games. We had some snacks. And I cleaned the house, and it was super easy this time. The Chi and the Love are flowing today. So here’s how it looks.
Doesn’t it look like just the nicest place to hang out?
Slow Day
I’ve recently determined that I am a slow blogger, which means that I am not putting a post up just to get something up. Obviously to anyone who follows this blog, I’m not a daily poster, sometimes not a weekly or even a monthly poster, but rather I post when I feel like I have something to write about, or something to show. This suits me. I’m not a Twitterer, I’m not out to get tons of readers. In fact I prefer to not know how many people are reading, or have outside expectations that I am going to post on any schedule at all.
I worried, when I stopped writing Kids Ride Free that I would not have the motivation to continue writing about my life and my kids, but that hasn’t turned out to be the case. I think my writing has changed, is perhaps more personal than I allowed myself to be in KRF, but that’s what happens when you spend a great deal of your time in thought.
I like the slow life- homeschooling allows us to have a great many slow days. Days where we meander around in our pajamas, have both early and late breakfasts, play some games, read some books, take in some air, take care of our animals and our house. A lot happens during those days that can’t necessarily be written about enthusiastically and in great detail. If I blogged everyday about every day I would quickly go insane, not to mention bore any reader to tears.
We recently had a dance floor added to our main floor living space. I didn’t know that it was going to be a dance floor when we started the project, but yesterday I discovered that when you remove a large section of wall and three doorways from the area between your kitchen, living room and dining room, you get a dance floor. We are still mid project, there is still plastic everywhere and dust and exposed old house innards, but the transformation is well under way. We didn’t have anyone besides us here yesterday for Thanksgiving, and it was a really great slow day.
Louise and I did all of the cooking (except for the brioche, which was done by the resident baker)
John took apart the piano. Goodbye old piano. Most of the cool bits and pieces are being saved for eventual sculpture projects.
In addition to the usual fare, we made green bean casserole from scratch, including breading and frying onions.
We put the table on the dance floor and gave thanks for all of the important things in our lives.
Thanks a lot, things I like!
Isn’t it time for another fun meme? another fun IMAGE meme? let’s give thanks the modern way- quick! 10 things you are thankful for right now, the not-so-obvious, the little things that make you happy kinds of things. Kids and family, friends, pets, house, health etc. are givens. Barack Obama is a given. Tag to anyone who has 20 minutes to goof around with google images.
1. Acupuncture. 
2. the disc Car Alarm, by The Sea and Cake, on repeat, especially track 3.
3. Caramelized onions. I’m off sugar and boy do caramalized onions taste insanely good with every thing.
4. gold jewelry that I inherited from my mother in law that I never thought I would wear, but have been loving lately. I feel so fancy, and feeling fancy is fine!
5. My Jill Bliss Journal. I’m on my second one. every other page is graph paper
6.John Stewart on Hulu, for getting me through the last few months with a good laugh at the end of the day.
7. duct tape, you fixed my vacuum cleaner and for that you earn the 7th spot on this list. Is there nothing you can’t fix?
8. Matrix Biolage Smoothing Conditioner. Kicking the ass of unruly hair daily.
9. orbit gum. Much like caramalized onions, I could not kick sugar without you.
10.the finest tea in the cupboard, Ginger Peach Green. 
Other Worldly
The kids and I just travelled down yonder to South Carolina to visit my parents for a week. My folks recently bought a little house in a retirement community near Hilton Head. I had romantic visions of day trips and explorations of all things historical and natural science-y. I forgot who my travelling companions were. The fierce, free spirited, free wheeling Upchildren.
particularly this one:
My parents were in a bit of a low point, having recently returned from a fabulous cruise in the South Pacific. They were understandably tired, both of them had suffered injuries on the trip and mom came down with a wicked chest infection- so two exceedingly rowdy boys, one stressed mom (who had the additional FREAK OUT of having left her beloved laptop in the Charlotte NC airport) and a perfectly well behaved almost teenager were perhaps a bit much for them. I can’t blame them, but still, there we were- there was no getting rid of us, at least for a week.
For some reason this trip was just the perfect storm of bad behavior- every car ride was barely endurable- my dad’s car is fancy, with lots of power windows and buttons and lights. My kids are used to driving around in a trashed mini van where boys ride in separate rows. There are enough toys and random snacks in the mini van to head off most tantrums, but in my Daddy’s caddy there was no distraction- actually that is a pretty apt description for my parents house as well. Not enough to do, so let’s wrestle- that seemed to be the motto of the week.
I tried to set up some things to do before we left- I found what looked to be a cool museum on Hilton Head, called the Coastal Discovery museum, that had lots to offer, including a 2 hour kayaking lesson and trip through the salt marsh. I registered Win and I and we looked forward to that. We busted out bright and early and headed for Hilton Head, dropped Ben and Lou off at the main museum campus- housed in an old plantation house overlooking the salt marsh on several hundred acres of property including a horse barn. Unfortunately, despite what the website told us, there was no kayaking in November, which we discovered when we arrived at the kayaking location. Dissapointed, we made our way back to the other kids, and planned to take a look around the museum instead. Ben had other plans though and with relentless, persistant stubborness, refused to go in, or allow me to go and have a look around. I was ready to call it quits and hop an early flight back to Chicago.
We drove around Hilton Head, listening to the indie rock station on my dad’s satellite radio, in search of a public beach. We found one, complete with free parking. I didn’t trust that my dad’s car wouldn’t be ticketed or towed- Hilton Head is quaint though, and doesn’t employ the parking pirates that Chicagoans are accustomed to. Even the beach brought it’s share of disharmony. Ben wouldn’t stop throwing sand. This is a child who has been a beach goer since birth. Throwing sand, unless you are throwing it in the water, is strictly verboten. We hang out with too many families with someone always younger than your youngest child. Throwing sand at people is just not allowed. But, here we were, at this beautiful, pratically deserted beach and Ben was throwing sand at his siblings. He wouldn’t stop- and finally it was enough- we left the beach and got back into the car and drove back to my parents house, me feeling the whole way that something was wrong with my kid, with my parenting, with my life. Nothing like a trip away from home to bring all of the bad stuff to the surface.
My parents took us to a wild place they discovered called Hunting Island. Here my kids were able to release the days of pent up energy that they’d been barely able to contain. Energy that was about to drive me off of a bridge. We went once with my parents, and decided we needed to go back again a few days later. We went on a day that was threatening to turn stormy, which suited the prevailing mood pretty well. We stopped for lunch at Subway and the boys got into yet another fist fight/wrestling match/screech fest while I was trying to place the order. I dragged everyone outside to eat, and had nothing to say- the worst thing I can do is go silent- I don’t think any amount of lecturing or yelling or threatening or pleading works, but silence freaks them out. I wasn’t being maliciously silent, I was just at the point of no longer being able to speak. We got through it. We made it to the island and set immediately out. The trip back to our spot on Hunting Island brought us all around to what for us is normal.
There is a nature trail that leads to a desolate area of the island that was hit pretty hard by a hurricane. A graveyard of tangled limbs and trunks. Tidal pools, gray sand and sky and sea, black water logged drift wood rusty mats of roots, upended massive root walls, it’s not like any place I’ve ever been. The kids immediately entered their own world, playing an elaborate game, allowing me to disappear into my thoughts.
I don’t know how long we were there. A couple of hours, possibly several days, maybe 30 minutes. It’s hard to say, it was very magical and while there I think I remembered what it is that I am doing- not trying to (overly) control my kids and contain my kids and judge my kids, but just allowing them the freedom to experience their lives. It’s hard as hell to remember that sometimes, especially when circumstances are kind of the opposite of that, with a lot of childhood baggage and aging parent worries thrown into the mix. It is really hard to not think that you’ve massively fucked it all up when your 5 year old is testing every boundary and social norm that there is right in front of your quietly appalled parents. Especially when being a fuck up was sort of a specialty of yours as a teen. It’s really easy to forget- in the midst of my own adult neurotic moments that my little kids are emotional sponges who only act worse when in strange environments, away from their Dad, with people they don’t see that often and who seemed only barely able to tolerate their presence. Sad to say. I love my parents, but most of the time I come away from seeing them feeling like I didn’t act the way I wanted to act, or say the things I wanted to say.
I should focus on the positive aspects of this trip, I know, but this is what I needed to write about. There were happy moments too. Swimming, golf cart driving, an alligator, ice cream, fresh shrimp and grouper, a 45th wedding anniversary, an hour with just my mom, a slumber party with Louise every night, cable tv, wild turkeys, a long walk, old photos, cards, silly kids, a returned lap top. Obama. A crazy cat lady. A lot of great new music. A new landscape. A sunny, windy beach. A lighthouse. Giant thunderstorm. Sand dollars. Whelks. My dad, retired.
I’m really glad to be home, really glad to be back with John. I am really glad I was able to talk to my girlfriends today. I have a few more that I need to check in with.